Have you ever felt a disconnect between your goals and / or desires and your daily actions? This episode is a candid reflection on that universal struggle around the "D Word! That's right, today we are talking about discipline. I'm sharing where I struggle, even as a person who is very disciplined, and I also share strategies that can assist in bridging the gap. From writing down your goals to strategically delaying gratification, I divulge the actionable tips that can help strengthen how discipline shows up in your life. Remember, the journey of discipline is one we take together, so let's continue to inspire and be inspired by each other.
Have you ever felt a disconnect between your goals and / or desires and your daily actions? This episode is a candid reflection on that universal struggle around the "D Word! That's right, today we are talking about discipline. I'm sharing where I struggle, even as a person who is very disciplined, and I also share strategies that can assist in bridging the gap. From writing down your goals to strategically delaying gratification, I divulge the actionable tips that can help strengthen how discipline shows up in your life. Remember, the journey of discipline is one we take together, so let's continue to inspire and be inspired by each other.
Hey y'all, I'm Jenelle Yarbrough and welcome to Blockers and Friends. This is your podcast for discussions around relevant topics and experiences that resonate with the culture. For those of you who roll with me, you know we talk a lot about embracing the possibility of change. We'll continue to touch on that, and lots more Sound good Word Get into it.
Jenelle :Hey, hey y'all. How is everyone doing today? How is everyone feeling today? We're getting more daylight, the weather is getting better. Hopefully that's allowing everyone to get out and about and live a little more life. Yeah, I mean, I can take cool weather. Dislike it, but I can take it. But when it is just rainy and windy, chow, get someone else to do it. I like to be in sigh, warm and cozy on days like that. You feel me.
Jenelle :Y'all know what's next. I want to shout out some of the locations where our listeners are tuning in, from Shout out to Spanaway Washington, everett Washington, bellingham Washington, jonesboro, georgia, clinton Township, michigan and Warrenville, illinois. Thank you so much to all of my listeners, both new and returning, for choosing to be here with us today, as usual, I am grateful. Y'all know what to do. We've got to keep on building our little community here, so go on ahead and forward, share, post this episode, put it in a text message, send it to your group chat, send it to your social media followers. You never know, this just may be the podcast they didn't know they needed. Also, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you listen from. This helps so that you can receive notifications when new episodes are released. Last, if you have not followed us on IG, head on over, search bloggers and friends podcast and click follow. You know we love to hear from y'all, so make sure to also DM us and tell us what you think of the episodes you've listened to so far. Topics you'd like to see me cover, or guess who you would like for me to have on. We're in this together. Yeah, show is.
Jenelle :Let me start off by saying Happy Pisces Season La, la, la, la, la la, yes, honey, the season of emotion, intuition and human connection. If you know what Pisces, welcome to the experience, say it. I know that I often talk about my self-care Sundays, but listen, let me tell you. I turned on that playlist, honey. We did a pre-shower face mask, did body exfoliation in the shower, got out, did lip exfoliation chowd, had my stage and white tea candle burning, not to be confused with our favorite white tea and ginger candle from blessed and thankful, and to who Continue, or McCuticles Journaled, when I tell you that self-pampering is always on time. Maybe I'll share some of my favorite products with you all, but I don't need anyone coming after me like the product police now. Okay Deal, I don't need all that. These are the things that I like for me. Did you get that? I'm also hoping to suggestions, though. Tell me if you have a self-care Sunday and what routines and products you use to pamper yourself, your body, your hair, your mind, your spirit. I love to learn about and try new things. So share honey, share, okay. Okay, back on track, girl, back on track.
Jenelle :Have you ever, just out of nowhere, just realize something that you desire in life is missing? Maybe it's something you once did that you no longer do, or something that you want to do for yourself and you're trying to attain it. Like, maybe you used to go on jogs regularly and for some reason, you stopped. Or you used to cook, planned out meals regularly and you no longer do. Maybe you are an avid reader and now you can't remember the last time you picked up a book. Maybe there is a certification that you would like to obtain, but procrastination rides on your hip like a pager from the 90s. Honey, maybe you want to become a homeowner, but it seems like a far-off reality. I'm sure we can all throw our hand in the air and relate to one of these. Right, we can all pinpoint an area whether it be a goal, a habit, a routine or new beginnings that we want to commit to but are falling short or just not following through on. We know what it takes to make it happen, but can't quite activate our go-go gadget discipline. That's right y'all. Today we're gonna dive into the D word. Oh snaps, y'all trying to get into this with me today. Count me in Word. Let's do it. Then let's get it.
Jenelle :Someone once told me that discipline is like learning how to take a cold shower. In the beginning it's cold and uncomfortable, so uncomfortable and you dread looking forward to it, so much so that you want to give up. But you stay committed. And then you begin to turn the corner and each day the shower becomes a bit more tolerable, until one day you find your mind and your body aligned and you're able to take that cold shower without the internal fight and resistance. You as in who. How often do we find ourselves in moments when we are needing to make inconvenient adjustments or changes but struggle with getting through the discomfort that the moment requires.
Jenelle :Listen, I can speak for myself. Y'all know I keep it real right, like I don't exempt myself from these conversations, honey. I throw myself in the ring because, listen, a lot of the things I'm talking about, I'm talking about it because I'm experiencing it or I've had conversations with people around this. So so me, me, me, me, me, I can speak for myself. You have heard me say it before and I'll say it again the gym facts. And in all caps, girl hush, I need to be working out. That's just period. I need to be working out.
Jenelle :This is part of living a healthy life, right, this part of it. You eat better, you work out, you keep your body in shape. Man, listen, I am a couple pounds above my pocket weight and I am only two second big. So that couple pounds makes a big difference. And I'm not a person who's attached to the numbers on the scale. I don't even own a scale. I don't even like scales, I don't even. I don't like them, right, those, those don't move me. But, child, listen when he's closed here. Did I done paid this hard to earn money for Start fitting my body different? Listen, all the alarms start going off. Shout out to the pandemic for bringing back high wasted. Let the church say amen.
Jenelle :Seriously, though, you all have heard me fuss and laugh at myself because there was a time when I was in the gym three to four days a week. Right, shout out to my sister for setting the bar back then. She's still going strong. Honey ain't never stopped. That is her life, that is her lifestyle. Love that for her. Wish I had that in me in the way that she does.
Jenelle :But Then Honey, life was on that ass and between working full time, going to school full time and mom in full time, I started prioritizing the gym differently and it began falling lower and lower on the list. Now, hey, y'all, here I am. I'm here knowing that when I return I'm going to have to have a garbage being close because your girl is definitely going to be giving it up. Body going to be all locked up the next day. Y'all know what I mean. So it's going to take a little something for me to wrap my mind around looking forward to that. Right, it's crazy because I am super disciplined in other areas, like I have laser focused. I've said it before that I recognize this is something that I have passed on to my kids your ability to tune the noise out and get stuff done. Yeah, it's real, we're on that Olivia Pope vibe handle.
Jenelle :So the fact that I have not been able to motivate myself to get back into this routine is perplexing and it's just really interesting to me. There was a January 2023 article from Psychology Today which essentially suggests that people move through six specific stages on their way to accomplishing a goal. They have one pre-contemplation a person not even thinking about change. And then you have two, which is contemplation, which is a person starting to consider it like okay, I really want to do this, yeah, yeah, I'm going to try to move this idea forward. And then three is preparation getting ready to do something different. Four is action putting in the work. Five is maintenance keeping it going. And six is termination knowing that there's no going back. Like you dove all in, you're all in, 100%. No going back. This is a space of consistency. Right, you've done it.
Jenelle :And then I realized, as it relates to my own relationship to the gym here, yeah, is that I don't make it past number two. I'm sitting right here at Contemplation, honey. So, in considering these six steps, I see for myself that I have to prepare, I have to prepare, I have to prepare for it. Like it is like right, like I know I want to do it Now. I need to prepare, I need to do the things that say I am preparing, which likely means I need to re-up on the gym clothes because, honey, the last time I have been to the gym, these ain't the clothes that are going to work for today. Not going to work for today, honey, we're going to need some new snacks and we're going to need a few other items. Okay, this is much like a person would prepare for the arrival of a new baby. I know that sounds like A and Z, but roll with me on this.
Jenelle :It's how we may purchase new attire for a new professional environment or in taking up a new hobby. If someone wanted to take up baking, they would buy the proper pans and utensils. If a person wanted to eat healthier, they would plan meals and shopping lists. Nothing about it. This way. It felt like I was solving a riddle.
Jenelle :It seemed so obvious, right, like so obvious. Yeah, start, you want to go, start getting the things that will make you successful in doing it right, and then do it, and then do it, and then build or work towards, I guess, being consistent. Be consistent, then you're there, right where you want to be, janelle. Come on, janelle, you can do it. No, it really does seem so obvious when I say it in this way. When I was reading this article, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes perfect sense. And you know, as someone who works in a lot of change management, like, yeah, that makes sense. Right, they say information is power, and sometimes thinking of things with new information and perspective can bring us to a new place of thought and action. Sometimes that obvious thing just needs to be, you know, set in a megaphone, right?
Jenelle :I want to hear from all of y'all Is there something that you're lacking discipline around? If so, which stage in the stages of change model are you at? Let's share support and hold one another accountable to achieving and obtaining the things that we desire for ourselves. Message me and tell me about your journey and I will keep you posted on mine. Let's go community, yeah, so that's it, y'all. I don't know that I could ever get used to taking a cold shower, nor do I want to, but I get the theory and understand that discipline requires making different choices and sometimes sacrificing the comfort of the moment in order to achieve or attain in the future. We're talking long game, y'all. Change can seem challenging for a lot of us. I'm a change enthusiast and I'm struggling with change in this area of my life, so I can imagine how challenging it may be for someone who feels anxious or unsure when it comes to creating lasting change.
Jenelle :That psychology today article provided five tips on how you can become more disciplined. One, they said, identify areas where you struggle most. For some people it's following through on a task or a commitment. For others it's finishing what they've started. To set yourself up for success. Sometimes the things that get in the way of being disciplined are the things people tend not to consider, like getting enough sleep or maintaining proper nutrition. Those types of things.
Jenelle :Number three notice the thoughts and emotions that drain you of that discipline that you need. Pay attention to the emotions and feelings that tend to derail you and be mindful of the kinds of thoughts that keep you from sticking to your commitments. Number four write things down and set reminders. Distraction is a big barrier to discipline. Hello, did you hear my last episode? Set your reminders in your phone or use organizational apps and digital tools to keep yourself on track.
Jenelle :And number five and I think that this one might be my favorite practice delayed gratification. The article states that our world is wiring us all for the instant gratification. We've talked about that in previous episodes. Also, it's like the blessing and the curse of social media in this new age of digital experiences that give you that instant gratification all the time right. And it's never been easier to take shortcuts and stay on the comfortable path of least resistance. But discipline requires delayed gratification, the ability to sustain effort in the absence of reward. I must say that again the ability to sustain effort in the absence of reward.
Jenelle :They also provided some really great examples of how to do this. They suggest that you start with small practices, such as not turning on the TV until you've completed all the essential tasks on your to-do list right. Not opening TikTok or other social media apps until you've sent those important emails. Waiting to enjoy your morning coffee until after you finished a 30-minute workout. Baby, that took me out. That took me out a lot. The way my eyes bulged on that? I can't imagine, but it's a good one. They're all three good examples. Of course, these are just examples.
Jenelle :You have to think about what applies to your life, right? I also was reminded about habit stacking, not from the Psychology Today article, but habit stacking increases the likelihood that you'll stick with a habit by stacking your new behavior on top of an old one, right? So if you want to read more books, maybe I read while I'm warming up on an exercise bike, or one common one that I see this is a trend that has picked up in our office. But people putting treadmills under their desk so that they can exercise while working right? One that I do personally is I utilize my drive home from work to have phone dates with my daughters. I use this to help me, one, flip the switch from work life to personal life and two, to help me stay connected and make sure that we have some dedicated time to just connect outside of text messages but hear each other's voice, catch up, all that good stuff. Those again, those are just some examples. I mean you have to think about your life and think about where habit stacking might be able to fit into your day to day. Or again, the examples of the delayed gratification.
Jenelle :The D word doesn't have to be an intimidating thing. Matter of fact, to me as a woman, discipline is so damn attractive. It's one of the values that I desire in a companion and I also desire to strengthen in myself. Let's not be out here lacking friends. We're all at different places in life and have a different capacity, but we have to start somewhere right. Whether you're a disciplined person who is working out the kinks, or if you're someone who is learning how to implement discipline into your life, we all have space in this conversation. We all need to know that we are capable of affecting positive change in our body, our spirit, our relationships, our life.
Jenelle :I know that's right. Let's do it together, y'all Be well. If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe so that you are notified when a new episode is posted. You can stay connected between podcasts by following us on Instagram at fearnotthejourney. You can also join our page on Facebook at Fear Not the Journey, or you can subscribe to our website and blog by visiting wwwfearnotthejourneycom. Thank you for joining us for this episode and until next time, be well.